A Mother’s Plea

As parents, we only strive for what’s best for our children. We can take all the pain, the suffering, the name-calling, the abuse, if only it would spare our children and their future. But when their values and lives are held on the line, we readily offer our lives to shield them from attack. Of any kind. At any cost.

Because our strength, our life truly emanates from them. So when they are forcibly taken away from us, our worlds shatter into a million pieces. How much more if their own father is the hand responsible for snatching them from our care? How much more if the sudden abuse comes from the same unwitting child you intend to protect? How much more if even the legal marital system may just become the instrument for breaking up the same family for which it was created?

What possible justification can there be for severing the sacred ties that bind the mother to her son by her own ex-husband who continuously instills a duplicitous and devious scheme of bad-mouthing the mother in the son’s presence? This is not even a plea for my own justice or sanity as the concerned mother, but for my children who will surely be traumatized for life believing the lies of only their father’s doing while living in hatred and confusion as they go through their lives.

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Everyday that they are made to choose between their two parents when they didn’t have to, and be fed by insults and lies about their own mother who gave birth to them and took care of them, we deny them their future of their own volition, of their own choice. They are so young to be destroyed by the legal and marital games we play out against them.

I am deeply saddened, not to mention enraged, by the erstwhile husband’s continuing duplicitous accusations leveled against my person with his ill-advised motive of severing my ties with my children.

While we may have failed ourselves as a family living together under one roof, who is he to judge me morally incapable of rearing my own children? And while I most welcome his supposed recent change of heart to finally become a responsible father and husband with his new life, who is he to malign me with the way I’ve been moving on with my own life? Pray tell, please, how a supposedly more responsible father this time can be so selfish, if not hypocritical, as to paint an ugly picture to his own children and start a hate campaign against their own mother all too suddenly?

Given those, there is nothing that justifies separating a loving mother from her children, the more devious of which is if this action comes from no less than the father.

My three sons with him have suffered enough already. The least their father can do is to not add to their confusion, especially at their impressionable age. Our troubled relationship in the past has already wrought them, and us, enough havoc. Can’t their father spare our children this time especially while they’re growing up? It severely pains me to see that despite the passing years when we should have matured despite our separate lives, the father chose to digress while claiming to have become a changed man.

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It is the height of hypocrisy if not outright deviousness for the supposedly more responsive person that the father claims he has become, to forbid me from seeing my own sons and from depriving me of my weekends with my children. If he had truly become more responsible this time, isn’t it supposed to be his job as a father and a person in his right mind to explain to our children that whatever may be troubling him, nothing changes the fact that I, as a mother, gave birth to them, raised them, nurtured them, and has every moral and legal right to take care of them-if only during the weekends?

It is so painful to realize that the father had to resort to such depths of deception without even thinking how this will affect our children in the long run. I may not be a perfect mother, but in no way will I thrust my children to such confusion, embarrassment and loss of character the way the father is sinking them to. I beg the father to please stop this heartless and selfish attempt at severing my sons’ ties with me as their mother. When will he stop breaking us apart?

If only for our sons’ sake, I beseech him as a mother to please give our children a break from so much anguish. If he has truly become a better person, then I plead that he listen to his heart and look into our sons’ eyes and realize how deep in confusion his actions have been taking them.

Please stop this senseless war and to allow us all to move on — as the law and our moral obligations as parents have designed for us.

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