Dear Juan de la Cruz,
We have your wife and two kids. They have been on our list as persons of interest.
Unfortunately, your son Kian’s baller did not save him this time. The police said he is nanlaban. He will have to miss his exams tomorrow. And the rest of the days.
Your younger student-activist daughter Dessa has been reported ‘missing’ after the capture, which is why we are doing everything in our power to ‘salvage’ the situation by lowering the age of criminal culpability.
Sadly, young Filipinos these days are such undisciplined criminals, and rehabilitation would be too expensive for our nation.
As for your wife, Pinas, don’t worry. Nauna na si meyor.
We thank you for your continued support of this war against you and other Filipinos. My master China will reward you with low-cost shabu and the usual cartel-led hoarding and takeover of your natural resources, especially with my Special Achoy now running as senator, along with my other alalays.
Remember: China and I have you in mind and your best interest at heart this May 2019 and beyond. Together, let’s stop Philippines from turning into a narco-state and make it a full-fledged province of China.
Cheers and ni hao,
Change
TRAVEL LIGHT 